Writing is free therapy that connects the world in ways beyond comprehension.
Have you ever wondered why somethings just won't work out in your favor? Ever been working somewhere and things just keep messing up regardless of how hard you try to do better? Been in a relationship that seems to be going no where? Maybe it's not meant for you to be there.
Maybe God is trying to tell you that you are not where he wants you to be. Sometimes you just have to walk away! It's like the people of Israel, when they were rescued from Egypt and they began their travels, things were going well because they were where they were supposed to be, but then they began complaining and growing impatient and they began to go astray. They were no longer where God wanted them to be, it took them 40 years to get to the promised land! Let's learn from them and not take 40 years to be where God wants us to be.
I don't know about you but I am experiencing some craziness in my life. I don't understand why I am going through certain things, why I am feeling certain emotions, why my stomach is in knots more often than not. I dread doing certain things and I stress unnecessarily. I never stress, usually I'm like God's got it and I move on. There have been plenty of situations that have occurred in my life where I didn't know where I was going, or how I would manage but it didn't concern me because I knew God would take care of me, and he always did.
When my ex-husband left me, I was no longer able to maintain financially my household, so naturally I had to make moves, downsize my apartment, create a tighter budget, you know the usual things we deal with when our financial status changes. I packed up my things, put them in storage and moved in with my Bestie until I was able to figure out where I was going and what I could afford comfortably. Eventually I ended up moving into an apartment in the same house as my Bestie and I stayed there for a year. I ended up having to move because my landlord didn't want to allow me to live there with my niece. We were not allowed to have any additional persons living with us that were not originally on the lease. It didn't natter to her that my niece was only 8 and I was her guardian at the time, so I lost the apartment because I took in my niece.
I guess God had something else in mind for me and did not want me getting too comfortable. At this time I had already left corporate to pursue my music and I was receiving unemployment trying to make things work. I wasn't sure what I could afford and where I would move but I knew that I had to move. I remember praying and asking God to help me, I needed an apartment at this rate and in this area. The next day I looked in the newspaper and I began circling apartments, I noticed an apartment in Union for the exact cost that I was asking for, oh but look how good God is, not only was the apartment the amount I asked for, it was also with all utilities included! I immediately went to look at the apartment and was happy with it, I applied and I prayed that I would get it. I was the fifth person to request it and the landlord told me she would let me know. That same day, she calls me back to tell me that she wants me to have it! I screamed, I was overjoyed and I thanked God all the way there to give my deposit. I said all this to say that not only will God direct you where he wants you to be, but he will see to it that you are taken care of. My landlords are truly a gift from God, they are patient, loving and extremely kind. She welcomed me as her family and not as a tenant, her exact words were "we can be sisters, not landlord - tenant", and she meant every word because this is how she treats me.
Situations may get uncomfortable, you may feel stressed, nervous, worried, scared, you may feel like if I leave where I am I will fall. I know how that feels, I have had God tell me on numerous occasions that I shouldn't be where I am, and I out of fear I stay, forgetting that God will take care of my needs. I am in that situation now, I know I am not supposed to be here, yet because I am scared that I will be without I haven't left yet, despite the fact that I dread going every day, that my stomach is in knots from the stress the environment creates.
I have made a decision that I will trust God and let go. I will walk away and know that he has me covered. Even in my relationships I have learned to listen and to trust him. I wrote a song titled "I Choose You", and it basically states that no matter what my thoughts are Lord, I am letting go and choosing you, even though it hurts Lord, I am still choosing you!
Let's make a conscious decision to choose what God has for us and let go and trust him. After all, he is a God of overflow, not only will he bless you, but he will bless you more abundantly, more than you could ever ask or think. He will do it! I know, I have seen his work in my life over and over again despite my foolishness. That's what love will do!
So I say to you, you know when it's time... listen, be obedient and reap the wonderful benefits. I am letting go and looking forward to good things! I love you all, thanks for reading and feel free to leave a comment. I would love to hear from you!
Blessings to you,
Keisha Natalee Cole
She Speaks I She Writes I She Lives